Revisions

I have a hard time with the idea of a “first draft”.  I want whatever I write to be perfect from the get-go, but sometimes, when I step back for a while and then return to look at it with fresh eyes, I realize that it really would be better with a revision.  This happened recently with the poem I wrote and posted back in July.  I mentioned having written it to a colleague, an English teacher, and she asked if I would be willing to read it to her.  When I looked it over and imagined reading it out loud to someone who analyzes poetry with her students all the time, I decided it needed some improvements.  So here is the 2nd draft… it may be changed again in the future, but for now, I think it is at least a little improved.

Sacred Ground
 
Within each of us is a spark of the Divine,
Always lit, never consumed.
 
In the presence of this fire
We hear the voice of our God,
Of our Goddess, of our Holy.
“You are on Sacred Ground.”
 
In the presence of this flame
In me, in you, in us,
Walking, standing, gathering –
We are on sacred ground.
 
In the presence of this fire
We are compelled
To take up a torch, to carry a flame,
To seek a sacred ground.
 
In the presence of this spark
We are committed
To light the fire of passion, of life, of holy work.
To journey towards truth on Sacred Ground.

 

 

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